i enjoyed the story very much. the vignette format was far more interesting than if she had just written the accounts straight through. another thing that made it interesting was the way she ended it with her daughter and the dream. when she mentioned that her daughter was staring, i either thought she would not say anything or say something cute and cheerful about it (which might be a silly thought).
but i did think it was weird that no one told her the truth about how she'd changed. my guess is that they didn't notice for real, or they just acted like they didn't notice so they wouldn't make her feel bad. but i just don't understand why they'd pretend like that. i think she would have felt the same about herself, or maybe even tried to change it.
but the worst part about it all to me was how her and her brothers kept up with the lie, even after she was older. i know i would have told eventually, especially since the lie made her seem like the idiot who blinded herself for life. no way
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I'm glad you like the vignette format, particularly since you will be writing your own essay that makes use of this structure. It works nicely to highlight each scene and provide each moment its own resonance.
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